The problem with living somewhere super cool...

Friday, December 26, 2008

we don't have anyone to share it with right now except ourselves. if reagan has a good time at the please touch museum in philly, we know she would have a better time if her cousins were with her. but, if her cousins were with her, we wouldn't be in philly at the cool museum.

i would be more excited about going to the martha stewart show if i wasn't going alone. but if i was with the people i want to go with, i wouldn't be next door to new york to go to see martha stewart.

we would have had a more exciting christmas with our family. but if we were with our family, we wouldn't be where we want to be. geographically, that is.

i am a closet "old rock" fan. "you can't always get what you want"and "i wish you were here". these are the songs that are speaking to me right now. people may not even know this about me, but i have a soundtrack for my life that is constantly updated in my head.

no, sometimes it doesn't seem like we are doing the right thing. but even though it doesn't seem right, it feels right. i can't explain it, i can't put it in this blog. i just know that right now, we are where we need to be.

admittedly, i tell mike i can never move back (to arizona). and a lot of that is just silly pride. i don't need anyone to tell me if i am right or wrong for making the decision to move 2300 miles away from everything we know. and right now, it changes about every 5 minutes. i am always ready to fully to admit when i am wrong. but i am always willing to make sure that i am not.

i'll make everyone a deal. when life is normal again (ie: mike working, reagan at school, life as we planned when we made the decision to move) then i can make a fully informed decision. until then, please pray that we are doing our best on the path. i don't expect anyone to understand. i don't even ask that of mike and reagan. i just know that prayer got us here. i truly believe that my family wouldn't be anywhere we are not supposed to be.

not to make anyone sad, but tonight we got a christmas card. reagan said "i miss my friends" and it was really hard. but i told her that she can make new friends and still have her old friends. i know that she doesn't understand what is going on. maybe i say these things for myself. i know that the relationships that were important to me back in arizona, are even more important to me now.

so in closing: i am homesick. feel free to send your "i told you so" notes. but i am excited for the new year. maybe we jumped the gun, but i don't think we missed the boat. i know, that is a lot of analogies for one little blog. i guess even though i have been in a funk the past week, i know it is not location, it is perception.

how can you love being where you are if your loved ones are not all there. "talk amongst yourselves". i am "too ferklemped" to go on. a dozen imaginary cookies to who can tell me where that quote comes from.

miss you. love you. xoxo.

5 comments:

tcandland said...

Oh, Sue- you're gonna make me cry! We missed you guys on Christmas! But you are right about the prayer thing- you can't argue with the answer you get- even if its not the answer you want, so don't question your decision, and don't let anyone tell you "i told you so"!!

Team Candland said...

therina? i have been hoping you would post so i could ask you for your email? do you have your own email or do you share the one with taylor? i have been wanting to email you without buggin' tay!! let me know!! MISS YOU!!!!

tcandland said...

Taylor got a new email, mine is still the etcandland@yahoo.com- sorry, we haven't had internet for about a month, so I'm sitting on my parents computer trying to get in all my blogging while i have the chance!

{b} said...

I agree with Therena! You gotta do what you gotta do! Did you check to see if you can get another ticket for Martha? We looked at flights yesterday and they aren't all that bad! Let me know, we'd love to come!

Julie said...

You can never be "sure" but over time you can appreciate the decision for what it is and at least recognize when it's been good and when it's time to make a new decision.

It's a brave thing to move far away and it's lonely and you will get through it. Really. You will. I think you are in the midst of still being new, in a new place, with new people, and new surroundings. And it's not going to be rainbows and butterflies either but it's could be a great opportunity to try something new. Even if its only for a while. A little while.

BTW, SNL for ever and ever!