HAPPY EASTER EVERY-BUNNY!

let us not try and pretend I can catch up the last ....whatever many months.... in one blog post. i can't tell a short story. i'm too funny to condense. well, re-phrase, i amuse myself and i am trying to work on not torturing others with my endless witty inter-brain banter. so we will start here. its not the beginning, but a very good place to start. why now you ask? inspiration! in the form of a poem that i heard on the radio and realized, crap, i could have written that. instead, i will copy and paste and you can read it and say "crap, she could have written that". yes, i am delusional enough to think i could be as funny as Tina Fey. Hubby, should you be reading this ... i'm not holding my breath on that.... but just in case....please don't roll your eyes so far back into your head. one day they are going to get stuck like that. But courtesy of Ms. Fey, i present to for you to enjoy...

PRAYER FOR MY DAUGHTER

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, dammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

return of the princess roo

after 5 VERY long weeks without my very special girl i was VERY glad to have her home. and her new friends were just sooo excited to meet her! of course we took her to mikes, in annapolis

sprinklers and popsicles

gal pals

the day after our hershey park trip, miss roo headed off for her grand vacation west of the mississippi. a couple days after that, hubby departed for maryland. i had the super fun job of packing up our entire life and moving it. thank goodness for uncle wessy! he was scheduled to visit us while roo was gone and in one of many pieces of good luck was in nj just in time to drive the u-haul from nj to md!

and after all that stress and hustling and packing and moving...we found a nice place to relax and have fun....good adult fun!

the moving crew!

thank goodness we found golden tee!

this place is awesome! if you visit team candland, we take you to mike's in annapolis.

time flies when your turning your life upside down...again

okay, okay...i know. i am a delinquent blogger. i'm sure ya'll missed my wit and charm and fabulous pictures of miss roo (oh i know that is what you really want)! well, it's my mission to catch ya'll up on the cra-zy summer we have had before summer is actually over!


we shall begin with our trip to Hershey Park. or, as i like to call it "the trip where we found out we were moving to maryland".

this little puppy is charlie. out of all the toys and crap at hershey park, all little miss roo wanted was daddy to play a carnival game and win her a prize. for a mere $2 happy kid, happy parents!

as the shorter parent, i get to experience the joy of the rocket ship ride. even though i am convinced one day the thing is going to snap and i will be hurled across the park and land on a cotton candy stand, i do it for the love of miss roo's giggle.